Who’s Helping Who?

Written July 5th 2010

God, what am I doing? I was suppose to have kept him company and helped him see the good in life?? Is there still good in Life??
Am I still Good?
How can I show someone something I myself still have doubt in….
I’m so alone. Why do I do this to myself?
As I grab my friend to take away my pain of abandonment, I come to terms with myself in realizing, I will never live a lifestyle of fortune and fame because I cannot keep up with the demands of always acting like I’m of some kind of importance.
I am not
I can admit to it.
I don’t want to have responsibility of hundreds of lives or people
I want the responsibility of making one special person happy and maybe one day some children.
Is that Lame?
Is it Lame I don’t want a big career and tailored suites to match my office on the top floor of some fancy building with lots of windows that will constantly need cleaning?
I just want a Man
I just want to be loved
Well, maybe I don’t want that at all
Maybe I just want companionship
Someone to say they care, they’re here and if I die, they can be a testament to my life.