Man if the drinking wasnt enough to age someone than the cigarettes and gambling would do it, no problem. I couldn’t believe some night as Kasey and I came home he would ALWAYS make us walk around the poker room and “feel” out the tables and spectators.
Sometimes he did a circle and we left, other times Kasey knew how to get a crowed going and excited to lose money to him. Sometimes he played up a hand just to get the crowed talking in case there was a potential Blogger in the mix…. Ssssshhh dont tell him =)
Yesterday was quite the fiasco as we went to eat at a Mexican restaurant then went to LAVO at the PALAZZO to meet with a “BIG DOG” Garren who was the male version of my stripper self but believed his own bullshit because he had been doing it so long… He was very attractive if you like the skinny type and had that brown “Costa Rica” tan along with pout lips and accent that could drive any Naive girl crazy if you didnt know any better.
My question though was ….”WHO THE HELL was the CRAZy ass white boy with HIM and WHY was he not in HAND CUFFS already?”
“LAYNE FLACK “- is how Kasey introduced him and I was a little embarrassed for him but oh so intrigued on what the hell he was on because i know, i have been addicted to glass for the last 7 months and would never dream of allowing myself to have “SUCH FREEDOM” in public. I think if i were to have read him I would say … He wasnt afraid to die and it fueled the courage to not care anymore about his public appearance, he’d “been there done that” and now he just didn’t “GIVE A FUCK” in the words of Mr FLack himself….lol
This was my first club where i got to take pictures from a red carpet and I felt a little special I will admit standing next to Kasey and his friends. I didn’t mind too much but the host must have made a mistake because Kasey looked pissed that there was not a table ready and waiting for his party especially since a “BIG DOG” was out to talk a little bit of Business with “K- DOG”….
Too crowded and too loud, we left and ended up at my second favorite place to end a night…. SAPPHIRES…
Man i was disappointed in the selection of bitches they had working but it gave me the opportunity to see that i was working for the most grade A, classy club in LV.
At first i didnt know what to think of LAYNE but then Kasey did what i had hoped he wouldnt and in front of everyone shared that Layne and I both have SEX and DRUG addictions that were on target for each other and as everyone else looked at me waiting for me to deny what Kasey was saying I had no reason to because it was all true. I was and am a METH addict, SEX addict and if you asked KASEY completely LOVE ADDICTED TO HIM.
Layne and I understood each other without talking and I suddenly saw thru his public display of Bullshit and realized it was his way of getting off in a world that was boring and un challenging for him. I knew what he felt like and even though i had not fallen off the deep end compared to his life…… Mine was on the way if i didn’t quit soon.
Later that night one thing led to another and Kasey, being the sweetheart he was, was pissed to hear someone talk shit and quickly everyone on his “payroll” was standing there next to him ready to fight. After what seemed like 45 minutes of “Who’s COCK is Bigger” they separated and we only stayed a couple more minutes before taking off.
WE said our goodbyes and once in the room Kasey turned on the music and played; Love the Way you Lie by Eminem
I had never heard the song before and the beat just suddenly grabbed my attention but what had me frozen in my tracks were the lyrics and the intensity the song produced. Was he trying to tell me something? I know his ex was some beauty queen that he tells me wanted to marry him and had to let her go, but these lyrics were more like my situation.
The constant “Tug of War”
The constant “lies and arguments”
The tears and sweat.. Could Kasey possibly be going thru the same thing or did he understand what i needed to hear? Did he feel my pain?
When Kasey jumped into the shower I took that time to quickly pull out my friend of glass and inhaled the smoke that fogged my brain of memories and hurtful events of the past. I know i had told him i was an addict but didnt speak much about it because it wasnt necessary for my addiction to become his problem and i knew when i was ready i would quit.
I wasnt expecting to have Kasey come out and want to speak about my addiction on a serious level. Funny he mentioned it considering i was on my last bowl and would need to re up soon but did not have a hook up in Vegas and did not know where to start. He told me I should quit and gave me the fatherly talk while holding his drink and cigarette close by. God, even as he laid there doing nothing but being a complete hypocrite i some how wanted him…. But he wouldnt touch me?
I couldnt beleive what i was hearing when he began to tell me that i needed to calm down with sex and realize i was a cool chick.
“Look Chanel, you have a cold sore on your mouth and you’re on your period, im not going to kiss you or fuck you, and im still asking you to stay” “you need to give yourself more credit and realize you are worth more…”
Truth was I had never had someone do this for me and never had someone stick to it and say it out loud. I believed in myself but slowley loss belief that any man could sleep with me without pressuring me into being with him. But there was Kasey-
I dont know how to begin explaining what this moment did for me or meant to me but being a woman in my position and coming out of a marriage that was based on our sexual relationship, it was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders and i wasnt worried about being defective or not being able to produce at the right time. It was all about me and for the first time i got to feel myself get horney when i wanted it and for reasons other than the fear of being given the “boot”. I think it made me look at the situation in a whole different light and im not sure I should have.
Sex, Drugs and Tommy Bahama 